Friday, May 14, 2010

Nursing a Friday Funny

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This week we decided that we would take a look at those wonderful women (and men) who take on Nursing as their profession, and all the good work that they do, and get so little appreciation for.

We have some friends
who are Nurses and have told us what it is like. Hopefully they will find something funny to cheer them up in this post.

Nursing certainly is a thankless and exhausting job:

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Not at all helped by some of the Doctors they have to work with:

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So why would anyone want to become a Nurse anyway?

Maybe it was for one or more of these noble reasons.

Top Ten Reasons to Become a Nurse

1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren't as good.

2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms.

3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive"

4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually.

5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases.

6) Interesting aromas.

7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.

8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world.

9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends - at work.

10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

It has been rather difficult to find good usable videos about Nursing for this blog post because:
  • Many were not appropriate for our Blog's PG Rating
  • Many good ones like "Mad TV" have embedding disabled on them, so we can't put them into our own web page.
But we did mention to find a couple of classic Monty Python clips.

And here is their other one featuring the famous "Gumby" characters. These Gumby dudes wear handkerchiefs over their heads, and seem to be quite mentally impaired, as you will see.

So if you think a Gumby Doctor is someone to be worried about, then what about if an evil Joker Nurse gets you in his sights:

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Now I know that we did cover Zombies recently on this site. In fact it was only in last week's Friday Funny that we took a good in depth look at them. However, there was an oversight in us not including any Zombie Nurses. Just take a look at this gorgeous and caring health provider:

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All right then, time we included some of the male nurses of the profession. Here are some guys in the operating room butchering the daylights out of one of our favorite country rock songs.

So by now we probably have everyone totally confused. So maybe we had better take a cold hard look at what being a nurse is really like.

You Know You Are a Nurse If...

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs."

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You can intubate your friends at parties.

You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."

You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You also know you are a Nurse if you've ever been in a situation like this one:

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Finally let's finish off with a classic song by Kenny Loggins called "Footloose" for all those hard working student nurses.

(Love the dancing in this clip, it really has that good fun feel good vibe to it).

So let's hope not too many of us are nursing giant hangovers this weekend,

Big Passy Wasabi

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