Friday, August 27, 2010
Image Source: http://www.guzer.com
Welcome to another Friday Funny. This week the focus is on children, and all the funny things they do. We also have some funny kiddie pictures, and some very childish jokes.
So let's start "kidding" around with this little video clip from YouTube:
"Charlie Bit Me" The funniest thing about this video is that it has had over
220 million views on YouTube.
Sure it's a cute video, and demonstrates what all brothers do to each other, but is it really that funny ?
Kiddie Jokes - Part 1
Q. How did the telephones get married ?
A. In a double ring ceremony !
Q. Why did the child study in the aeroplane ?
A. He wanted a higher education !
Q. Why was the broom late ?
A. It over swept !
Q. What kind of hair do oceans have ?
A. Wavy !
Q. Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?
A. Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !
Q. What steps would you take if a madman came rushing at you with a knife ?
A. Great big ones !
Q. Why is it not safe to sleep on trains ?
A. Because they run over sleepers !
Q. How do you cure a headache ?
A. Smash your head through a window, and the pane will just disappear !
You know baby photos are just the cutest. Here is a great three minute special compilation album from YouTube.
Here is a technically amazing video clip of the Evian Roller Blading babies.
Here are some more hilarious kids jokes.
(We're positive you'll be laughing your heads off at these ones!)
Image Source: http://www.laughparty.com
Kiddie Jokes - Part 2
One day a boy was walking down the street when he saw a sea monster standing on the corner looking lost. The boy put a leash on the sea monster and took him to the police station.
'You should take him to the museum,' said the policeman !
The next day the policeman saw the boy in the town again with the monster on the leash.
'I thought I told you to take him to the museum,' said the policeman !
'I did,' said the boy, 'and today I'm taking him to the cinema.'
'What were you before you came to school, boys and girls ?' asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say 'babies.' She was disappointed when all the children cried out, 'Happy'
Later that day, the same teacher was furious with her son. 'Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig!'
The boy said nothing !
'Well ! Do you know what a pig is ?'
'Yes, mum,' said the boy, 'the offspring of a swine.'
Simple Simon was writing a geography essay. It began like this: The people who live in Paris are called parasites....
And the people who live on earth are humans. But how did humans evolve? They say we came from monkeys. But perhaps our closest living relation isn't some kind of monkey after all. Maybe it's the Panda!
Blondes supposedly know how to have more fun. But does this look like fun?
Maybe this is how the swine flu really started!
Image Source: http://www.theblogofrecord.com
Little Blonde Girl Jokes
Q. Why did the blonde girl shoot the alarm clock ?
A. Because she felt like killing time.
Q. Why did the blonde girl wear a wet shirt all day ?
A. Because the label said, 'Wash and Wear.'
Q. Why did the blonde girl spend two weeks in a revolving door ?
A. Because she was looking for the doorknob.
Q. Why did the little blonde girl pick up soap bubbles and put them to her ear ?
A. Because she liked soap operas.
Q. Why did the blonde girl keep running around her bed ?
A. Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.
Q. Why did the little blonde girl put the chicken in a tub of boiling hot water ?
A. Because she wanted the chicken to lay hard-boiled eggs.
Q. What did blonde Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive?
A. 'Some day my prints will come.'
Here are several parts of a series of Etrade commercials that are quite amusing.
First up we have "Etrade the baby trader".
Etrade Mobile Phone trading commercial:
Etrade the singing babies:
Etrade golfing baby. He has such a big attitude for such a little boy !
Time to lay back, and check out our final set of very childish jokes.
Image Source: http://i142.photobucket.com
Kiddie Jokes - Part 3
Q. Why did the sword swallower swallow an umbrella ?
A. He wanted to put something away for a rainy day !
Q. What was the gangsters last words ?
A. Who put that violin in my violin case !
Q. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers ?
A. A nervous wreck !
Q. Why did the man take a pencil to bed ?
A. So he could draw the curtains !
Q. Why did the burglar take a shower ?
A. He wanted to make a clean getaway !
Q. Why do idiots eat biscuits?
A. Because they're crackers !
Q. How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night ?
A. He used flood lighting !
Hopefully we won't be flooded with complaints about any child like inappropriateness in relation to this latest post.
Guess I had better go check what the kids are doing!
Big Passy Wasabi
Friday, August 20, 2010
Image Source: http://jokes.mtvnimages.com
Everyone loved the Brian Regan clips we included wioth a previous Friday Funny. So we thought as a favor to our loyal followers, that we would do a follow up, featuring 100% Brian Regan.
So we have been through the many YouTube clips out there, and chosen our own little Passy World "Best Of" collection for your LOL'ing enjoyment. So let's get the show started!
Here is a quick classic Brian Regan clip about "Name Tags" .
Here is one from Brian all about kids and Bike Riding in the street.
Another classic one about Drink Cup Sizes at Mc Donald's. It is quite amazing when you stop and think about all of those ridiculous promotions and meal combinations offered at major Fast Food outlets.
The following video is all about going to Hospital, and the funny, (and not so funny), things that happen there.
This video will tell you all about cars, and how Brian (and most of us other mere mortals), know so little about them).
Brian Regan living at home and reading the Newspaper. This is a rather lengthy one, (6 minutes), but covers some damn funny material.
Here is a Brian Clip done in Lego of the classic "Walkie Talkie" skit.
And another great Brian Lego clip about Flying involving traveling as a commercial passenger by aeroplane.
So I suppose everyone has been wondering what Brian looks like in real life, and so here is another picture of the legendary Brian Regan.
Image Source: http://ecx.images-amazon.com
And here is a video clip actually featuring all of Brian in the flesh.
Hope you liked the "Brian Regan Revisited" mega film festival, and hope you all have yourselves a very exciting weekend.
Big Passy Wasabi
Thursday, August 19, 2010
In this post we will take a look at Animations, Action Buttons, and other special effects in PowerPoint 2007.
Adding Animations to PowerPoint
The following seven minute video shows quite well how to use most of the standard animations and transitions in PowerPoint 2007.
This one shows how to do custom motion path animation.
Resources for this video can be obtained at: www.slideshare.net/davidcriniti/soccer-header .
Powerpoint has some great special effects for images and text, such as 3D rotation, reflection, gradients, and so on.
Here is a video that covers special effects such as picture effects like reflection, as well as animation effects.
And here is another free lesson from the Internet on Powerpoint Animations.
Adding Action Buttons to Slides
To get action buttons such as arrows for the next slide, or go to the end, we need to use Autoshapes and pick from "Action Buttons".
This short video shows how to go to another slide in the presentation using an Action Button. It also shows how to set up a button to end a PowerPoint presentation and go back to edit mode in PPT.
Here is another video that covers action buttons to create links between PowerPoint slides in a presentation.
Finally, here is a Tutorial using motion paths with action buttons to produce an AFL Football animation. This project is not only fun, but it also combines together all of the skills discussed previously.
So there's a few helpful ideas to jazz up your next PowerPoint presentation.
Big Passy Wasabi
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Image Source: http://www.fragilekitty.com/img/blog/pi.jpg
Circles are quite useful when we go skateboarding, and are called "pipes" and "half pipes".
Here is a quick video of some Skateboarding inside a pipe.
Here is some more skating inside a pipe, but this time with an awesome full circle loop at the end.
In Skate Boarding, and BMX Bike riding, doing a full rollercoaster style loop is called doing a "Loop of Death", (for reasons that will become apparent a bit later on).
Here is a video of two skateboarders making it around the full circle "Loop of Death":
But before you think about trying this at home, perhaps you should check out this video:
BMX bikes and Motorbikes have done some successful full circle Loops.
Speaking of things going round and round, here is an interesting little science experiment. (Warning: Don't try this at home!)
So we've seen skateboards and bikes do full circle loops, but what about something bigger, like a car?
Here is a failed attempt to have a Car do a full circle Loop:
Here is the mathematics of a Loop the Loop, which helps explain why it is so hard to do successfully.
Here is "Fifth Gear's" Loop the Loop high quality video of a car successfully making it. It gives the math that was used as well. In fact they set a new world record doing it.
Now for something completely mad involving circles that happens in England at Gloucestershire every year.
This one involves a big round circular cheese being rolled down an insanely steep hill, with the competitors chasing it downhill at full speed.
Let's finish off spreading a bit of culture around the globe, by featuring some classic Australian "Circle Work" that country boys do in their Utes:
Well I'm feeling quite dizzy after that final round of circles, and so I won't be doing any circle work in the ute today mate.
Big Passy Wasabi
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Image Source: http://upload.wikimedia.org
Drums are one of the most marvelous use of circles that we've ever heard of here at Passy World. So let's get right into the beat of the Circle with a catchy Circles Song from Learning Upgrade website.
Here is another great circles tune, this time by Maths Teacher extraordinaire: Mr Dave Johnson:
So let's start taking a deeper look into the mathematics of circles.
Image Source: http://files.abovetopsecret.com
Here is a video all about the Circumference of any Circle:
Here is a video about how we can work backwards from the Circumference, to find out the radius of the circle:
And now for a video about how we can calculate the Area of a Circle:
Finally, here is a video about how we find the volume of a 3 dimensional circle, which is known as a "Sphere".
Now a really important part of working on Circles and spheres is the value of Pi.
Image Source: http://timthefoolman.files.wordpress.com
Pi is a mathematical constant whose value is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter.
Eg. Pi = c divided by d.
Various people reciting Pi as fast as they can on You Tube take their own world records very seriously. The one to beat is how long to recite the first 100 digits
of the never ending decimals PI value.
A guy called Matt Parker originally set a World Record for reciting the first 100 digits. Then Michael J Lavery beat Matt's record, and pegged the time back to 25 seconds:
But Matt in true competitive spirit regained his world record back again with this improved effort.
This is in fact the fastest Pi recital time, that Passy World has managed to locate on YouTube thus far.
Finally, a very interesting video about a contender for the supreme Pi record of reciting it from memory to thousands and thousands of decimal places !
All this talk about Pi has made me quite peckish, and so I'm off for a cup of tea and a nice little custard pie I got from the shops this morning.
Big Passy Wasabi
Friday, August 13, 2010
Image Source: http://files.myopera.com
Gather around boys and girls for a truly animal Friday Funny.
Now we all have seen and heard talking animals before, especially Parrots and Cockatoos. Here is one particularly talented and talkative famous Parrot called "Einstein" :
The Parrot on the Plane
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a coke, you cow!"
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another coke dogface!"
Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!"
The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you've sure got guts!"
Joke Source: http://www.comedy-zone.net
But it's not only Parrots who can talk. This is evident from some of the talking animal gems on YouTube. Check out this cute little talking Dog:
And it's just not dogs and parrots, but all sorts of animals having their say:
Some animals don't have that much to talk about though, and would rather just spend their quality time glued to the TV set:
Image Source: http://i395.photobucket.com
Yet some other animals don't want to talk to each other at all, because they simply don't get along! For these guys, actions speak far louder than words!
Image Source: http://images2.fanpop.com
Other animals are sad and lonely, and need some help.
The Lonely Talking Frog
A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.
His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"
"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."
Joke Source: http://www.comedy-zone.net
Here is an amazing talking Myna Bird on the Johnny Carson show.
And while we're on the bird jokes:
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies: "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
Joke Source: http://www.comedy-zone.net
And now for another all the animals are talking type video:
If the following two cats could talk, this is what they would be saying:
Image Source: http://www.mylovesworld.com
And now for my all time favourite talking animal: "Mr Ed". This guy was a horse that could talk, and star of a famous TV show that my parents used to watch in the sixties. This episode features an extremely young Clint Eastwood, and the first part is very funny.
And I know you are all dying to find out the rest of the Mr Ed versus Clint Eastwood story, and so here it is:
It's time to say goodbye to another week, and get on the road to a big weekend.
Maybe this nice friendly guy will give me a lift into town, if I sling the remains of a big T-bone his way.
Image Source: http://i331.photobucket.com
Not so sure about his tastes in music though:
Woof Woof and Enjoy,
Big Passy Wasabi
Monday, August 9, 2010
There are a couple of websites around that allow people to make very nice short text titles. These titles can then be used in PowerPoint, Publisher, Photoshop, Word, or any other application. They can also be downloaded and saved as image files.
The first of these websites is "Glow Text" at : http://glowtxt.com/
The site is very simple to use, and it is just a matter of typing your text in, setting the font size and amount of glow, and then choosing from one of the many styles, such as these:
And we then get our text generated for us on the Glow Text web page like this:
We can then right click on the text image and either save it to disk, or Copy it to the paste buffer. We can then go into PowerPoint and paste the text image onto a slide to use for a heading.
When we combine our text with a background from Google Images, we can make a unique PowerPoint slide design like this one:
PowerPoint 2007 does have its own Glow effects that can be added to text, but it doesn't hurt to have some extra text making tools at our disposal.
Another free text making site is "Cool Text" at: http://cooltext.com/
Cool Text has available the following set of text styles:
It is basically the same to use online as Glow Text. The output text image can be copied into other applications such as PowerPoint etc.
Here is some text that was made using the Cool Text online site:
So there we have it: Glow Text and Cool Text for all your fancy titling needs.
Big Passy Wasabi
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Click on the buttons in the image above to make each image dissappear and then reappear; and we can keep doing this endlessly.
We found out how to do this sort of thing in Flash Actionscript 3.0 by following the instructions in the following excellent YouTube video by "Flash Building":
The guy who made this video has an awesome website of Flash Actionscript 3.0 Tutorials. The place to go to get his complete toggle button lesson including Video, Resources, and AS 3.0 Code is here:
Flash Building Actionscript Toggle Button Tutorial
"In this free Flash AS3 instructional video and the free .fla source file download, beginners can learn how to use the flash button component to dynamically create buttons, place buttons, and make button component instances toggle property work. There are more properties for the button component instance that you can research to pinpoint the exact functionality you require in your application when using the button component."
We followed the instructions in the video, but Instead of drawing the oval shaped graphic, we set up the movie clip to be a photo as follows.
Another variation we did on the original Actionscript project was one where we made two different images continually swap with each other by using the toggle button functionality. We chose to use winning and losing AFL Football teams, but we could have also used Good and Evil, Happy and Sad, Big and Small, etc as our two contrasting images.
The following PDF document gives some review notes as well as the full Actionscript 3.0 Code for the toggle button projects shown in this Blog Post.
If you would like to have your own full size copy of this PDF, then simply click the save disk icon button on the PDF viewer, and you should be able to save it to your own hard disk.
Alternatively, you can view or save the full size PDF by clicking the link below:
Click here to open or save the “Toggle Button Notes” PDF
So Toggle Button is a great fun beginner's project for learning Actionscript 3.0 basics, so why not give it a go sometime, and try out some of the other Awesome FlashBuilder Tutorials at: http://www.developphp.com/list_as3.php on the awesome free "developphp" website.
Time for me to go back into "Hide Passy" mode for a while.
Big Passy Wasabi
Friday, August 6, 2010
Image Source: http://s-fun.com
Recently I was out with a friend who had a new car with a really great parking sensors system. (The only drawback with these systems is that they don't detect hazards for every conceivable parking situation).
So here we are parking ourselves at the computer for yet another fun packed Friday Funny!
Our first driver certainly looks like he could use some sensible sensors to assist him with his parking efforts:
At least he didn't go as badly as this tragic group effort:
Image Source: http://www.desicomments.com
Here is a two minute YouTube compilation of some great moments in parking. It is certainly amazing how many stationery states people can get their cars into.
Now what's the story with the following car?
Is the driver simply "Barking up the wrong tree" ..... or
"Parking up the wrong tree" ..... or maybe a bit of both ?
Image Source: http://pictures.topspeed.com
Car Parking Joke of the Week
Q.What happens to frogs when they park illegally?
A.They get toad
Irish Car Parking Joke of the Week
Murphy's wife borrowed his car and parked in the supermarket car park. Just as she came out laden with shopping, she saw a young lad break into the car, hot wire it and drive off. Naturally she reported the matter to the police.
'What did he look like?, the sergeant asked.
'I don't know she replied, but I got the licence plate'.
Joke Source: http://www.guy-sports.com
Speaking of things that are green, take a close look at this green car parked next to the van.... or is it?
Image Source: http://media.myspacepimper.com
Time for another magic moments of parking video... Enjoy.
Courteous Car Park Rules
- When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing.
- Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred.
- In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both.
- As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull through and take it from him.
- Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car........
Now speaking of shananigans in car parks, here is a classic Mr Bean favorite:
Pensioner Parking Joke of the Week
Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.'
The man looked at her with disdain and replied, 'That's what you can do when you're young and bright.'
This annoyed Elsie even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW.
The young man ran back to his car and shouted in a stunned voice, 'What did you do that for?'
Elsie smiled at him and said, 'That's what you can do when you're old and rich.'
Joke Source: http://www.guy-sports.com/jokes/car_jokes.htm
That's it for another week here at Passy's World. We would love to stay longer, but we have some serious parking problems of our own:
Image Source: http://www.funnychix.com
I'm off to park myself on the couch for a while.
Big Passy Wasabi