Friday, November 5, 2010

Flying Friday Funny

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Hello this is your Captain speaking, and today we will be flying high with a very avionic Friday Funny. Pre-flight procedures require everyone to watch the following safety video prior to us getting underway.

It appears that we are missing a passenger. Does anyone know the whereabouts of little Johnny Hangerron?

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Please take care while storing your carry on luggage in the overhead lockers.

All right then, time to sit back and relax and leave all the big thinking to our wonderful hard working pilots.

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Top 10 Things You Don't Want on the Airline's P.A. System

1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.

2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.

3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airline's new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.

4. Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....and another one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!!!!

5. (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we have to go back ....we ..we ....uhhhhhh ....forgot something.....

6. This is your Captain speaking....these stupid planes are a lot different than the ships I'm used to.. so you'll have to give me some leeway...

7. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the in-flight movie.

8. We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and ... Oh noooooooo!!!!!..

9. Don't worry! That one is always on E...

10. Hey capt'n take another hit man...

Make yourself comfortable, and try not to think at all about what might have happened to your checked in luggage.

Rest assured that it is safely in the wonderful hands of these good old boys.

Aviation Joke

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".

An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"

Joke Source: Somewhere on The Internet

Isn't it nice to see all parts both inside and outside the engines fully functioning while airborne:

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So if we need to see some more silly things that can happen on planes, we need to watch the following video. This one is the trailer from one of the funniest airplane movies ever: "Airplane" which was made back in 1980.

Over the last few years the airline industry certainly has become competitive. In fact, things are very competitive between rival airlines and their pilots.

Fun things to do on long Airplane flights to kill time...

  • Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
  • When two people kiss in the in flight movie, say "oh yeah!" really loud.
  • When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.
  • Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
  • Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
  • Run down the aisle screaming, "He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!".
  • Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
  • Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.
  • Start a hot dog stand.
  • Steal a businessman's laptop, and play solitaire on it.
  • Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put super glue in your underpants that morning.
  • Show off your Batman underwear.
  • Switch accents and see if anyone notices.
  • Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.
  • Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e".
  • Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same.
  • Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!".
  • With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Never mind. Do you have any towels?".
  • Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!".
  • Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best then the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)
  • Pretend you're flying the plane.
  • Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this when there are stewardesses nearby).

Joke Source: Somewhere on The Internet

And here is one more fun thing to do on a flight if you happen to have you camera phone handy.

So that concludes this week's in-flight entertainment. Please return your smiles to their normal positions, and fasten your seat belts for an action packed landing just like this one.

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Have fun finding your luggage; it could take all weekend!

Big Passy Wasabi

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