Friday, December 10, 2010

Big Fat Friday Funny

Sorry Picture Not Found
Image Source:

This week we are expanding our waitlines to have a funny look at a big problem we currently have here in the Western world: our size!

Don't laugh but Big Passy was very bigger two years ago, weighing in at an obese 125kg. Thankfully I am now a much healthier 90kg, but it wasn't easy getting rid of that extra mass.

Let's begin with a silly joke:

Q. What do you call two fat men having a chat?
A. A heavy discussion.

Joke Source:

A lot of times people blame Mc Donald's food for weight problems. But Big Passy enjoys eating Maccas at least once a week, and it is fine as long as you do some exercise to compensate for the high calorie intake.

I don't think these guys have been balancing out the fast food equation.

Sorry Picture Not Found
Image Source:

Here is a basic diagram of how that whole overweight equation works:

Too much big calories in = Too much growth in all the wrong places

Sorry Picture Not Found
Image Source:

"F is for Fat" Jokes

Freddy is so fat, he shows up on radar.

Frank is so fat that NASA orbits satellites around him.

Faye has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.

Ferdinand is so fat, they used his belt to measure the Earth's equator.

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
The other one says "So are you! You big fat pig!"

Fatima was so fat that they baptized her at Sea World.

Francessca is so fat, she had her baby pictures taken by satellite.

Fillipo is so fat, when he steps on the scale it says, "No live stock please."

Frederica is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

Felicia is so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please.

Frederico's butt is so big, he got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!

Ferica is so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Fawn is so fat she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said, "we don't do curtains".

Jokes Source:

Most of the videos we checked out on YouTube for this post were very unkind and unsuitable. However, the following video shows how when you are overweight, your center of gravity shifts, and it is much easier to fall over.

This certainly happened to Big Passy a few times during his previous "Big Boy" life.

I guess this video is more a warning than something funny to laugh at.

Fat Theology

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.

And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God just sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Jokes Source:

So that's it for our Fat Friday. Now it's time to drift off into another big weekend.

Sorry Picture Not Found
Image Source:

Enjoy yourselves, but make sure you do something active in the next two days!

(No Longer so Big) Passy Wasabi

No comments:

Post a Comment