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This week is all about Top 10's. There is a great wealth of material out there on the net that is very funny.
Here for your laughter and entertainment, we have ten of the best PG rated funny things we could find.
Let's kick off with a Top 10 of very funny TV Commercials
The next Top 10 contains advice about preventing long term tragic situations like this one.
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Top 10 Ways to say No to Going out on a Date
I'd love to, but...
- I have to floss my cat.
- I want to spend more time with my blender.
- The man on television told me to stay tuned.
- I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
- I'm building a pig from a kit.
- I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
- I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
- I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
- I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
- I'm being deported.
You certainly wouldn't want to go out on a date with this guy.
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Here is a great cartoon video about the Top 10 ways to fail at falling in love,
(if you happen to be a turtle).
We travel to the Middle East for our next list, and it is indeed a funny place.
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TOP 10 HIT MOVIES IN IRAQ
10. "You've Got Veil"
9. "There's Sanctions Against Mary"
8. "Honey, I Martyred the Kids"
7. "I Still Know What You Did Last Ramadan"
6. "How Saddam Hussein Got His Chemical Weapons Back"
4. "Arranged Bride of Chucky"
3. "Patch Saddams"
2. "Turban Cowboy"
1. "The Waterboy"
Top 10 Health & Safety Warnings
The following training video shows ten important Health and Safety Hazards for workers.
Here is another Health and Safety warning concerning the ergonomics of using a redneck computer workstation:
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TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF A REDNECK HAS BEEN USING YOUR COMPUTER
1. The monitor is up on blocks
2. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them
3. The six front keys have rotted out
4. The RAM slots have Ford truck parts that smell like they
were just dipped in gasoline
5. The numeric keypad only goes up to six
6. The password is "Bubba"
7. There is a gun rack mounted on the Monitor
8. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive
9. The keyboard is painted in camouflage
10. The mouse is referred to as the "critter"
Joke Source: http://www.poddys.com
And one more safety warning about keeping a close eye on your pets.
Top 10 Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You
- Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
- He actually *does* have your tongue.
- You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
- Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
- You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
- Droppings in litter box spell out "DIE"
- Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"
- Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
- Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
- Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
- You find a piece of paper labelled "MY WIL" which says "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."
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Big Passy Wasabi